Sayings.....
Are usually based on logic. Play with fire, and you get burned. I burned the roof of my mouth playing with matches. Lesson learned. So much to say, yet such a short memory. I dont imagine DMX reads this or any other blog, but I wish he did. Id tell him I was dissapointed with his interview in Vibe. Insulting J for wearing flipflops? Since when is anyone, thugs included, defined by the clothes they wear? The petty squabbling and negativity were far from the positive black role model he once was. Im sure I had more to say about it, but since I read the article like a week ago, and dont have the magazine with me, thatll do. Note this entry. Somebody write this down: I am the first(?) to predict that Lou Dobbs will run for office in the near future. Its in the cards, the stars are lined up, the tea leaves are circling, all that stuff. You heard it here first. Five costumes that would be great, but nobody will choose this Halloween; Three hole punch Jim, The changling assassin from StarWars Episode 2, Hugo Chavez, Janet Jacksons Boob, Comic Book guy from the Simpsons. Is it too early to think about that stuff? I think not. Its the closest holiday next to my birthday. I think Im gonna sleep in tomorrow. One of lifes simple pleasures. Gotta look for that new job. Perhaps waking up early to get a head start would be ideal(early bird catches the worm), but Id much rather perform my job search on the clock at my current job. Another one of lifes simple pleasures. Im not old(geeze, how much longer can I say that with confidence?), but I just remembered Romper Room for some reason. I used to watch it at like five thirty in the morning when I woke up for school. Random. Must be bedtime. Another random thing. I asked a guy for any spare turntables he might have, and he had spare turntables to give me. Im gonna own turtables. Scratch that off my LifeList(that list everyone should have of things to do before they die....guess it should be called DeathList then, huh?). You never know if you dont ask. Is that a saying? It should be. Im going to bed.....-j

Today.....
Is my best friends birthday. Happy birthday, AC. And Wendy. Happy Birthday to you too. And Vicky, you too. None of which read this blog, but its the thought that counts, right? Thats what people say when they dont have gifts, anyway. I bought someone a "Happy Rosh Hannah" card. I thought it was pretty funny(no offense to any Jewish folk), but apparently today is Rosh Hanna. I think its the jewish new year. My jewish coworker couldnt elaborate on the meaning of it, since he doesnt really know. Is there such thing as a "bad jew"? Do they use that term? Other coworkers have joked that he is a "bad jew" because he doesnt fit any of the stereotypes(minus the jewfro); hes non religious, shaves everyday, and poor(those are the only stereotypes ive heard). I admit, I laughed. I laugh a lot. But it made me think about stereotypes. The same guy who coined "bad jew", joked(i think) about me being a bad black guy. He said I play tennis and soccer, so something is wrong with me. Ha ha. I wonder where else he was going with that. I also have a job. Whats that you say? Yea, it better be nothing. I dont have any kids, Im not a gangster(apparently couldnt be one if i tried, cuz i wear flipflops. yea, i know), and have never been to jail. This happened like three or four days ago, but now that I think about it, Im insulted! I should kick his......no, wait. Thats what he want me to do. Stereotypes suck. Its like, do you change your behavior to avoid them, or just accept them as the guidlines for whats expected of you? I try to just do me, but they are pretty hard to ignore. Like when I get crappy crap crap service at a restaurant, and its time to pay. Do I leave a bad tip? If I do, she/he will chalk it up to "blacks tipping poorly", but I hate to reward poor service. What to do, what to do. Thats the least of my worries though. Its at work when its a constant problem. I feel scrutinized to the fullest constantly. I read a poem called "Being Black in the Workplace" that verbalized what I feel daily to a T. Its like I gotta work twice as hard, or be classified as lazy. Look, just because I update my blog at work doesnt mean Im lazy. Im multitasking/ practicing time management. Its slow anyway, so who cares what I do with my downtime? And if Im not really early, then Im late. It sux. I think I need to go into business for myself. They always say, do what you love, and youll be successful at it. Unfortunately, I think the market for sitting on my butt, eating, and playing videogames with my friends is pretty hard to break into. Early retirement is looking better and better everyday. When I say early, I mean like next year. Oh crap. Its time for me to go to lunch. Dont wanna be late for that.....-j

Hoy....
Je Chereche un Homme. If you know what that means, good for you. I have no clue. I dont speak french, but the word "homme" looks like man for some reason. Its the song Im listening to right now. Id better make this quick; apparently I only have thirty seconds to call and order my CoreRythms exercise videos at this exclusive discount. I can learn to dance and melt away the pounds at the same time! A lotta bad stuff has been happening in the news lately. I was about to update the otherday, but didnt. I think it had something to do with outrage. Bush wanted to "reinterpret" the Geneva Conventions. That was the first and last paragraph I read of that story. Ah, Cheaters. Now here is some quality tv. A man in a bumblebee costume is being beat up by his girlfriend at a seven-eleven. How I do enjoy reality tv. Its the closest thing to some truth in the media. Look at all these commercials. All lies. No, a beautiful single woman is not waiting for me to call her so we can "hook up" via RedHotor LavaLife for $4.99 a minute. No, I cant make $10,000 in my first month using that guys easy real estate program. Music, which I love, is just as bad. Every rapper swears he is a thug who gives a kcuf about the law, not a family man who sweats just like the rest of us when they get pulled over. Every RnB singer swears the only thing in the world that matters is their love, not the war or family drama. And the news paper? A tool used for spin on events. They say "leftist deny raise for minimum wage", not "senators refuse bill that raises minimum wage by a buck, but gives rediculously high tax cuts to the richest of the rich, our buddies". No thank you. I'll stick to watching Flava of Love and Maury("You are not the father"). I wonder if I was lied to the other day? This guy at work comes up to me and says "I just got that BattleStar Gallactica soundtrack. Its really good." I didnt know how to react to that, so I kinda just stared at him, then he walked away. Its funny, but not funny. I was about to look up StarWars conventions, but not now. Stupid peer pressure. I lie too, tho. Later this week, Im gonna call in sick, even tho im not. See what you made me do, bush? Oh crap. I just realized I like Project Runway too. My poor manhood. Tomorrow, Im gonna buy a Leatherman Multi tool to keep the balance. Yea, and drink a beer. In the morning! No, wait. Thatll just make me a drunk. Maybe I should listen to less french music......-j

Everything in moderation....
I think Benjamin Franklin said that. Of course, he stole it from the bible, but people dont like quoting the bible for some reason. I think I past the point of moderation ten cookies ago. Mini-Nilla wafers, even when dipped in strawberry cool whip, have their limits. Its five years after 9/11. For some reason, I was antsy all day. The first four years after just flew by for me, but I expected something to happen this one for some reason. I work at the airport, and it was uneventful even for a normal day. Thats the third thing I have been wrong about in the past few weeks. I had been having "preminitions" about certain events in the past few weeks. Nothing too x-files, just I would wonder about someone or thing, and that person/thing would be in the limelight soon after. It first happened when Corretta Scott King died. The day before, I had a dream that she died. I had a good run since then, guessing events and such, but lately I have been dead wrong(ha! dead wrong!) on several occasions. Most notably, I had the strongest feeling the day before yesterday, that I was going to die(hence my amusement with being dead wrong). I called a couple of people to tell them I love them(if I didnt call you, please dont get angry), but the feeling remained throughout the day. I lived, but the next morning, my ex girlfriend called me to tell me she had a dream that I died. Strange, but Im still alive, and still wrong. I guess my precognitive fantasies were just lucky guesses(sigh). I just now realized that even though I thought it was my last day, I still went to work. Wow. Good thing I didnt die. That wouldve been a crappy way to spend my last day. If it was your last day, what would you do? Maybe you should do it now, since you never know when its time. Off topic, but you know what I find amusing? Listening to all the music in my computer on random. Theres music from like every genre, and the randomness makes it that much more interesting. From Lupe Fiasco, to Luis Armstrong, to Lauryn Hill, to Uncle Luke, back to Ludwig Von Bethoven. I even got stuff I shouldnt have, like Clement Cralie(a french chick I like, even tho I dont understand what shes saying), and Herbie Hancock(even though hes before my time). Its a trip going back and forth. Keeps my emotions on their toes. It seems like I should be writing about 9/11 and stuff, remembering where I was and all, but Im kinda 9/11ed out. Moderation. I think all the media coverage on terror, and the possiblity of terror, and domestic terror, and remembering 9/11 is starting to get to me. I need a break from all this. Since vacations dont come cheap, I bought a fantasy book to get lost in for a while. Its good to be distracted. Clears the head. Too much, apparently, can make one sick to the stomach. Either that, or too much cool whip. Im gonna go throw up about something else now.........-j

A minute ago.....
I went into a chat room. Dont ask me why. I hadnt been since high school, and that was because I was new to the area and didnt have any friends. It was a "Black" chatroom too. Apparently, they only difference between the races, is how they refer to lewd sex acts. White chat rooms usually refer to "cocks" and such, while black rooms prefer the term.....well you get me. My point is, the only thing in the chat rooms is "eat this", and "suck this", and "view my webcam". People be acting a fool. Why is the internet so nasty? I know people like the annonimity of being online, but I wonder sometimes: If everyone walked around in mask completely hiding their identity, would they act the same way? Im sure there wouldnt be as much arrogance in real life(even in a mask you can get your butt kicked), but would peoples behavior be so vile? I think one is more candid over the phone than would be in real life, because you dont act on things spoken. Maybe its the same thing online. Maybe people only talk that way, but would never actually behave the same: like joking about a dirty sanchez(if you have to ask, trust me: you dont wanna know). Do I do the same thing? I know on some level, I feel more candid on the phone, like the lack of eye to eye contact reminds me of one in a confession booth, but I only say things that I would say in real life. Oh yea! I remember why I exposed myself to that foolishness. I cant sleep. I meant to update this thing earlier, but I thought to myself, "Update with what?". Bush still acting a fool, the war rages on, crimes never cease to amaze me, but what would I be updating? My life? Well, Im still alive, and still ready to get outta here. Thats about it. My sister told me today I was the only one in the family free of drama. Ha! Then our family is a season of Jerry Springer. Drama is relative. I have been accused of being a bit dramatic at times. If my life was a book, would anyone read it? Would I? Geeze, maybe I am boring? Never one to back down from a dare, I guarantee that if I see tomorrow, it wont be like today was. No sir. Thats my motto anyway; You only live once....or, eh......Live each day...... I dont know. Something about everyday being different. Maybe I should put some clothes on and go somewhere right now.... nah. Its late, and I need to make myself sleepy. Dang insomnia. Ive been looking at other blogs. Some of them are amazing. Makes my little paragraph look like scripple on a napkin. Maybe I should spruce up my stuff. Maybe I should stop eating so late too. Neither are too likely to happen, so get used to text and softness around the middle. Any philanthropist wanna fund my trip to anywhere? Consider it research for my book, which I might possibly include you in the dedcation. I kid, I kid. I dont beg from no rich man. What is one to do when lacking creativity and sleepiness? Guess I'll go "lol" and "asl" someone named bigtatas68plus1. The adventures of me. Whats worse is its a direct violation of my motto, because thats the samething I was doing when I was fifteen. Man, what happened to me? Apparently nothing. Gimme another slice of pizza......

Its cold.....
In my apartment. It always is, cuz I sit right in front of the vents. Robe time. Mos Def was arrested for an impromptu performance outside of the MTV Awards, cited for disorderly conduct. The cops were Republicans. I dont say that as a Democrat either: I consider myself independant. I just know they were republicans. Picture this: Youre in New York, outside Radio City Music Hall. The VMA's just ended. Celebrities everywhere. Fans everywhere. Lights. Cameras. Its pretty hectic. Rowdy. Mos Def jumps on top of a truck and starts rapping. Unless youre within twenty feet, its probably too crazy to even hear. Now, in the midst of this chaos, do you think its at all odd he would be singled out for "disorderly conduct"? Not to me, since he was rapping "Katrina Claps", a song critisizing bush for the response to hurricane Katrina. I deduce that the cops were Repubicans. Elementary, my dear Watson. If you need to vent, Mos, hit me up. Its starting to rain. Im glad. Dont you hate when youre halfway through a drink before you realize the cup was dirty? Yesterday, someone asked me when the last time I cried was. I know, what an odd question. I couldnt remember, but whats weird to me is that I cried today. I cried when I read about those six kids who were killed in that fire. It was rough reading it, and my heart goes out to the family. The story said she was originally from Mexico, and that the lights had been off since like May. I swear if I hear any racist prick say anything about "illegal" or "poor", or anything I think is unsympathetic, we gont box. [gont- verb. org southern u.s - 1.going to 2. with intention to perform said act] I also wanna critisize the jerk at CNN who gave Andre Agassi a disrespectful goodbye by saying "he looked like what he was: and old man with a bad back trying to play tennis". Six time Grand Slam champions deserve more respect than that when leaving the game. Whatever the guys name is that wrote that mess needs to get a life, nerd. Stop being so critical. I can pretty much guarantee that guy doesnt have a girlfriend too. Whats that you ask? Do I have a girlfriend? Shut up. Thats different. I could have a girlfriend, but I choose to be single. (Dont let them see you cry, old man....) Its getting late, and Im thirsty. What going on in the news......-j

In the news....
NFL player Steve Foley was shot by an off duty cop. The whole situation seems pretty suspect to me, but since hes a cop, his story is considered the truth...... the crock hunter Steve Irwin was killed on expedition by a stingray. At least he went doing what he loved, I guess...... Ron "Mr Biggs" Iseley was arrested for what is being called "serial tax evasion". How did he get convicted and sentenced so fast, yet not one Enron exec has seen a jail cell?...... Madden 07 video game sales hit over $100 mil in its first week. Im not impressed, since they have a monopoly over NFL related games now. You suck EA. (unless you wanna hire me. in which case, I kid, I kid)....... I wonder what Asatta Shakur did with her day today. Hmm......-j

Today.....
I had an interesting conversation with my grandfather, whom I hadnt seen in quite a while. Conversations with him are usually one sided, which isnt a bad thing. They tend to be like the book of Proverbs; jumping topics, but filled with wisdom. He made an interesting statement to me. He said that welfare was the worst thing to happen to black people since slavery, for many reasons. He says the welfare program started when slavery ended. Former slave owners would tell the slaves "You need to feed your family. Give me your acre of land and mule and I will give you fifty cents a week. You can also live on the land and work it, just give me a part of the proceeds." He says welfare turned the hardest working people inept by taking away their drive to work. He says that funds allocated to the states for minoroties was misused for the longest, and when blacks got wind and demanded them, they were used to build rec centers in each city, instead of other uses, and that crack was created and distributed by the CIA to destroy the black community. He says a lot. Some people say all old black men are angry at white people. There may be some truth to that, but he made some interesting points. He ask since cocaine is needed to make crack, and crack is only in the poorest community, who was buying the coke? And where were they buying it from? He says that for the longest time, all guns found in black communities said "Made in China", which means they all came from the same source? It was a long conversation, as you can see. Its funny, though, how we have never had a conversation like that before, yet can both be conspiracy nuts. I use the term loosely, because I think many of the urban legends black people believe are based on some truth. Some of the truths we know are even more outrageous than the rumors, so I dont find sayings like "crack was created intentionally to destroy the black community" too far fetched. I wonder if being a conspiracy theorist is genetic? Ive noticed of late how alike my mama and I are. Its a good feeling to think we would be friends in another life. My sister is driving me crazy. She is doing freestyle kareoke as loud as she can. Ka-re-o-ke. That doesnt look right. Between watching this movie(Flight 93), hearing her racket, and hunger, I cant even thing straight. I think its time to eat. This movie kinda sucks, by the way. I can see why people were dissapointed. Pizza and hot wings? So much for regaining that six pack I lost...-j