Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Quack....
Like a duck, walk like a duck, act like a duck, and you must be a duck. I think Im a jerk. I mean, three times in one week? Im starting to see a pattern here. Three different women have more or less called me a jerk this week. And here I am thinking Im a nice guy. Ok, two of them are or were interested in me and I guess you could say I did them wrong(in a way), but one has zero interest in me, so I would think that makes her more objective. The Two(thats what Ill call them) both imply I am wrong in leading them on- whatever that means. I wish, I wish I could get my hands on that mythical Dating Rulebook. I mean, what are the rules when your just "talking"? At one time, "just talking" was my favorite place to be in a relationship. My fear of commitment is just as healthy as the next mans, but I didnt think I was doing anything wrong. Its not like I was married and asked for divorce, or in a healthy relationship breaking it off for no reason: I purposely detached from situations that get too involved before Im ready. I mean, if you know your not dating someone, why do the rules of dating still apply? Doesnt seem fair to me. If you call someone daily, pretty soon its expected, and youre doing it more from obligation than desire. Ending the routine before it becomes habit seems sensible, but apparently peoples feelings will be hurt no matter what. I say "I meant to call you", but all they hear is "quack". I guess Im a jerk. And unfortunately, Im not even good at that, cuz I dont like other jerks. Which is why I drink alone tonight...again. No, Im not an alcoholic, Im a duck. Maybe Ill turn into a swan one day, but until then, I gotta cut em loose instead of letting whatever happens happen. If anyone ever gets a look at the Dating Rulebook, or knows "the rules"- look up the chapter on conversation frequency or quitting while your ahead, and let me know what it says. Until then: cheers, darlin. -j