Christmas trees....
Sugar cookies. Santa hats. Mistletoe. I searched, in vain, for that elusive Christmas spirit. Since Halloween, Id been planning on making the most of this holiday. In my mind, I saw a month of constant elation. Coupled with all the stuff I planned on picking up for myself while shopping for others, this was shaping up to be as perfect as a holiday season could be. But somehow, December ninteenth had come, and I had yet to feel that...umph. When your in love, nobody has to tell you in your in love. You just know it. Christmas was supposed to be all around me. But it wasnt.
Eggnog. Potlucks. Gift exchanges. Cocoa. Malls. Wassle. Poinsettas. Nothing.
Christmas was upon me, and I was afraid I was going to miss it.
Then I wondered, what exactly is "Christmas spirit"?
Rewind to Sunday School: Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ.
Ok.
But how does it relate to Christmas spirit?
Hmm, let me see. Saviors birth.... famous for being selfless.... we give to others imitating that selflessness.
I think Im on to something here.
Christmas is bigger than just a holiday- it is a season. Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall, Christmas.
And like summer heat, everyone feels its effects. Tips are healthier, employers act more human,
and even road rage is down. The spirit is real. Everyone feels it- religous, atheist, even scientologist. With all the smiling and cheer, you would think we all moved to Whoville for the month, but its easy to miss it. The symptoms- ginger snaps, outdoor group singing, use of the word "jolly"- can easily be distracting from the original cause of celebration. What I mean is, the cloud of euphoria that blankets the nation isnt born from mass, chaotic shopping. It doesnt come from secret santa's with five dollar limits, nor from grinches and scrooges having a change of heart. It comes from that guy whom everyone knows. No matter what one believes about him, the reason for the season is rooted in the character of Jesus. He was about others, so we remember him, and we think about others. Its very simple, and I have a beautiful woman named Anyaa to thank for reminding me of it.
We were at work, and I went to get a bite to eat. I returned with food and she asked why I didnt tell her I was going so I could grab her some too.
Why didnt I?
She had done it for me many times before, with out being asked. In fact, she is always thinking about other peoples needs. It was profoundly simple principle, and it opened my eyes.
I was looking for Christmas spirit in all the wrong places. The shopping, santa hats, the seasons greetings, the gingersnaps- all merely side effects. The root, the true souce of Christmas spirit, is remembering that selflessness.
Thinking of others- I get it.
Thank you, Anyaa.
Merry Christmas. I know Ive said it around five hundred times already, but I meant that one. December ninteenth, huh? That means I still got six days of constant smiling left. :)
Happy birthday, Jesus.

Tonight....
I thought about all those silly celebrities who make sex tapes then get upset when they are "accidentally" exposed to the public. Before tonight, I had never had sympathy for the fools. Why leave copies with your not famous, ex lover? Why even perform so lewdly on film? Or, why make it in the first place? Before, they were fools. I apologize to them all. No, I didnt make a sex tape, but I now understand the seduction of performance. Being on camera, especially when one has the illusion of privacy, can be purely intoxicating. Combined with other inhibition-freeing agents, (such as alcohol, drugs, hunger, sleep deprivation, or new-toy hysteria) can lead to some dangerous results. I call it an oops coctail(Not really. I just made that up and probably will never use it again.) I mixed a lack of sleep, hunger, and the elation (ever heard of "boys and their toys"?) of a new camera. Watching the results were brutal. I dont even know what happened. I just remember once the camera was on, I had to fill it with stupidity. The results ended up in a short, independant film with no words, but good music. The video was forty five seconds of me being a dummo, but combined with an hour of dillusional post editing, and I can now never run for public office. .Maybe I should just make it public right now, so my opponents wont be able to blindside the public with it ever? Maybe. Oh well, not like I could ever be president anyway...-j