Quack....
Like a duck, walk like a duck, act like a duck, and you must be a duck. I think Im a jerk. I mean, three times in one week? Im starting to see a pattern here. Three different women have more or less called me a jerk this week. And here I am thinking Im a nice guy. Ok, two of them are or were interested in me and I guess you could say I did them wrong(in a way), but one has zero interest in me, so I would think that makes her more objective. The Two(thats what Ill call them) both imply I am wrong in leading them on- whatever that means. I wish, I wish I could get my hands on that mythical Dating Rulebook. I mean, what are the rules when your just "talking"? At one time, "just talking" was my favorite place to be in a relationship. My fear of commitment is just as healthy as the next mans, but I didnt think I was doing anything wrong. Its not like I was married and asked for divorce, or in a healthy relationship breaking it off for no reason: I purposely detached from situations that get too involved before Im ready. I mean, if you know your not dating someone, why do the rules of dating still apply? Doesnt seem fair to me. If you call someone daily, pretty soon its expected, and youre doing it more from obligation than desire. Ending the routine before it becomes habit seems sensible, but apparently peoples feelings will be hurt no matter what. I say "I meant to call you", but all they hear is "quack". I guess Im a jerk. And unfortunately, Im not even good at that, cuz I dont like other jerks. Which is why I drink alone tonight...again. No, Im not an alcoholic, Im a duck. Maybe Ill turn into a swan one day, but until then, I gotta cut em loose instead of letting whatever happens happen. If anyone ever gets a look at the Dating Rulebook, or knows "the rules"- look up the chapter on conversation frequency or quitting while your ahead, and let me know what it says. Until then: cheers, darlin. -j
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Hip Hip,....
no matter how far it has strayed, is not the enemy. The fallout from Don Imus' comments has shifted. Originally, the focus was on not tolerating racism or sexism in the media, but now the focus has turned entirely to hip hop. Did hip hop influence Don Imus' comments? "Has the industry gone too far with its accepted language" is a completely different issue. Dont make hip hop the focus of the problem. The degrading of our women in hip hop is the product the root problem. Treat the cause of the disease, not the symptoms. Russel Simmons has called for the language to be regulated. I say that if people really wanted to stop the language, they would stop supporting the worst of the worst. We dont need morality police, we just need the peoples actions to match their words, and the only words I hear are lyrics to hack rap artist who would degrade their own people for a dollar. If you wanna stop the use of certain words, then stop using those words, h* @%$ n*$#%s. -j
no matter how far it has strayed, is not the enemy. The fallout from Don Imus' comments has shifted. Originally, the focus was on not tolerating racism or sexism in the media, but now the focus has turned entirely to hip hop. Did hip hop influence Don Imus' comments? "Has the industry gone too far with its accepted language" is a completely different issue. Dont make hip hop the focus of the problem. The degrading of our women in hip hop is the product the root problem. Treat the cause of the disease, not the symptoms. Russel Simmons has called for the language to be regulated. I say that if people really wanted to stop the language, they would stop supporting the worst of the worst. We dont need morality police, we just need the peoples actions to match their words, and the only words I hear are lyrics to hack rap artist who would degrade their own people for a dollar. If you wanna stop the use of certain words, then stop using those words, h* @%$ n*$#%s. -j
Friday, April 06, 2007
Snoop...
Dogg vs. Bill O'Reilly. I think Ill take Snoop on this one. After Bill blast Snoop on his show,
he showed, again, his extremely racist views. He never met Snoop, but would "build a jail just for him". Where does this hatred come from? From Snoop smoking weed? Our former president smoked weed, and our current one is a coke head. What do you expect from the same buster who blasted Pepsi for having Ludacris as a sponsor, but said nothing about them having self-proclaimed devil Ozzy Osborne on the payroll at the same time. That nigga bill is a racist. Yes, nigga, in the oldest sense of the word. Meaning he is less than a man. Ignorant. Beneath me. Not fit to eat in the same room as me. Your selective ignorance, choice hatred, and bigotry disgust me, bill. I feel the same way about you that I do about pedophiles. Id rather share a table with a Klansman than you, you dog. Go f#@% a goat. See what you did? You made me cuss, congratulations. And I hope Snoop makes good on his offer, and beats some sense into you...
But on a lighter note, Kanye West supports clean water efforts in Maryland, and I say its about time. Finally, a rappers are starting to take on global issues. He did the (Red) thing for AIDs with Bono, and now this. Take note, followers. You ride every other trend, so dont shy away from this one....-j
Dogg vs. Bill O'Reilly. I think Ill take Snoop on this one. After Bill blast Snoop on his show,
he showed, again, his extremely racist views. He never met Snoop, but would "build a jail just for him". Where does this hatred come from? From Snoop smoking weed? Our former president smoked weed, and our current one is a coke head. What do you expect from the same buster who blasted Pepsi for having Ludacris as a sponsor, but said nothing about them having self-proclaimed devil Ozzy Osborne on the payroll at the same time. That nigga bill is a racist. Yes, nigga, in the oldest sense of the word. Meaning he is less than a man. Ignorant. Beneath me. Not fit to eat in the same room as me. Your selective ignorance, choice hatred, and bigotry disgust me, bill. I feel the same way about you that I do about pedophiles. Id rather share a table with a Klansman than you, you dog. Go f#@% a goat. See what you did? You made me cuss, congratulations. And I hope Snoop makes good on his offer, and beats some sense into you...
But on a lighter note, Kanye West supports clean water efforts in Maryland, and I say its about time. Finally, a rappers are starting to take on global issues. He did the (Red) thing for AIDs with Bono, and now this. Take note, followers. You ride every other trend, so dont shy away from this one....-j
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Yes....
there have been developments in the "50 cent" slapping Jimmy Henchmans son story, but I dont care anymore, so Im not gonna write about it. Truth is, I only cared for a few minutes anyway, which is hardly worth a paragraph in a blog entry. Im focusing on the issues that matter a little more to me now. Like global warming, World War III, and civil rights. Speaking of which, watch the video below and tell me what you think. Rebirth of the Civil Rights Movement, or just another get together? (But just as a disclaimer, whats gon happen is gon happen regardless of you haters) -j
there have been developments in the "50 cent" slapping Jimmy Henchmans son story, but I dont care anymore, so Im not gonna write about it. Truth is, I only cared for a few minutes anyway, which is hardly worth a paragraph in a blog entry. Im focusing on the issues that matter a little more to me now. Like global warming, World War III, and civil rights. Speaking of which, watch the video below and tell me what you think. Rebirth of the Civil Rights Movement, or just another get together? (But just as a disclaimer, whats gon happen is gon happen regardless of you haters) -j
Friday, March 23, 2007
Cowards...
of hip hop! Remember "Lions of Hip Hop" by Mos and Kweli? Of course you do. Well, 50 Cent and Tony Yayo are proving themselves to be the Cowardly Lions of Hip Hop. It bad enough their body guard entourage has inflated to the point where the phrase "hip hop police" had to be coined in their honor, but these latest allegations are detestable. It doesnt matter that it was Jimmy Henchmans son- bullying a fourteen year old kid for reppin a rival label makes the whole squad look bad. What were the intentions- scaring him into buying a G-Unit hoodie? As a man, there are three things always considered sacred- his food, his money, and his kids. Remember how Eminem flipped out when someone mentioned Hallie in a song? Thats because you can beef all you want, but there are still standards, and this crosses the line. I hated the static and division, but always respected 50 for his consistent success and hustle. I know Im not alone when I say I cant respect that. G-G-G-G U-NOT!
But on another note, I wish Guinness World Records people never acknowledged Lil Jons piece as setting a record for the worlds biggest bling. Rappers were already trying to out do each other, but this is gonna start a race that makes us all look like losers. Shouldnt we be deterring such frivolous spending? Within a month, Im sure you will read about the Guinness World Record for the most expensive grill. If artist insist on out doing each other, let it be in the music they make, not the money they waste...-j
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
MySpace.....
Dot Com. The new crack. Pardon my terminology-nothing else seemed appropriate: Niggas be on MySpace more than they be at work. They check their MySpace before they brush their teeth. They check their MySpace while they eat. Theyre late to work or school checking their MySpace. They see a computer while in public, and feel like they gotta check for new comments. They use their work computers, their home computers, their friends computers, anybody. As soon as they get home, they log onto MySpace. They leave in the middle of meals, to check their MySpace. They get on and lose hours at a time. They fight with their parents, with their spouses, ignore their kids, over MySpace. They dont watch TV: they listen to TV while checking their MySpace. And if your loved one is missing in the middle of the night? Yep, MySpace. This ish is getting out of hand. Im with Jay: "I dont surf the Net. No, I never been on MySpace. Too busy carving out My Space in this world..." I looked up signs of addiction and used it as an outline to help you see if you or your loved one need to get your @$$es off the computer and into MySpace Rehab.
Do you:
Dot Com. The new crack. Pardon my terminology-nothing else seemed appropriate: Niggas be on MySpace more than they be at work. They check their MySpace before they brush their teeth. They check their MySpace while they eat. Theyre late to work or school checking their MySpace. They see a computer while in public, and feel like they gotta check for new comments. They use their work computers, their home computers, their friends computers, anybody. As soon as they get home, they log onto MySpace. They leave in the middle of meals, to check their MySpace. They get on and lose hours at a time. They fight with their parents, with their spouses, ignore their kids, over MySpace. They dont watch TV: they listen to TV while checking their MySpace. And if your loved one is missing in the middle of the night? Yep, MySpace. This ish is getting out of hand. Im with Jay: "I dont surf the Net. No, I never been on MySpace. Too busy carving out My Space in this world..." I looked up signs of addiction and used it as an outline to help you see if you or your loved one need to get your @$$es off the computer and into MySpace Rehab.
Do you:
- Use MySpace to escape your problems or relax
- Keep your MySpace activities a secret from people in real life
- Lose interest in stuff you used to like
- Have problems at work or school because of MySpace
- Change your friendships, such as spend more time with MySpace friends
- Change your sleeping habits
This is just a sample list. You may not be addicted, but this is another confirmation that MySpace is the new crack of our time. The only difference is that the government didnt create MySpace with the sole purpose of destroying the black community. Either way, MySpace is holding a lot of us down. Get some help...-j
Friday, March 09, 2007
I try...
Not to rant too often, but this has gotten out of hand. Control, rap is out of. Never before have I agreed so much with Nasir Jones' sentiment: "Im here to get my paper and bounce. Hip-Hop is dead. F*@# Hip-Hop."
My frustration isnt unprovoked. I love Hip-Hop, but listening to the radio recently makes me wanna stab myself in the ear with a sharp object. The same thing, over and over, and over. The new T-Pain song was the last straw. It is a compilation of all the recent "hip-hop killing", dime-a-dozen, cookie cutter club bangers to the run of the mill "snap your fingers" beat. With such memorable, reference lyrics like "you can do it all by yo self"(Lil Jon), "..buy you a drank...I got money in the bank"(Lil Scrappy), "we in the bed like: boom, boom..."(Lil Bootsy), and "walk it out"(DJ Unc)- this song goes beyond simply regurgitating the latest hit, to actually biting all the latest hits at the same time. But the demise of the music is not pinned to T-Pain; he is just the McDonalds to my Supersize Me. The fall of the industry came when it changed from a passion shared by few, to a commercialized beast fed to the masses. Commercialization is like watering down Kool-aid to stretch it out. It takes something good and dillutes it until its a shell of the original product. And as time passes, the music travels farther and farther from its roots, because its history isnt taught. Nobody will realize that the new DJ Lil Knuck Knuck(not a real artist, I hope) beat was actually a sample from J-Dilla. I see it already. Gwen Stefani had another hit. The beat is what sold it, but nobody who actually listens to Gwen Stefani knows that it was a Biggie Smalls classic, and originally, Earth Wind and Fire. People forget, and now what was a passion, is just a punchline(See: The white rapper show, Malibu gansta, "Im from the streets!", etc).
I guess I just want people to remember what real Hip-Hop is. Theres nothing wrong with liking the hacks: I myself have leaned wit it, snapped my fingers, and chicken noodle souped. There is something wrong, though, when people forget what it used to be like. Ten years ago today, Christopher Wallace was shot and killed. I wonder when the radio will stop giving tributes to him. Whens the last time you heard a tribute to Eazy E? J Dilla? Hell, Aaliyah didnt even get recognized in 2006, just five years after her death. Just recognize, is all I ask. And maybe stop requesting that damn T-Pain song so much... -j
As an added bonus, here is GQs list of future Tupac albums to look forward to:
1. The Very Best of Tupac from the last three weeks
2. Tupac: Sneezes and Coughs
3. The Ghost of Tupac Versus R. Kelly
4. Walt Disney Presents Tupac: Frozen in Time
5. Tupac Live from Argentina
6. Tupac Dead but still from Argentina
7. The Ghost of Tupac Versus R. Kelly and Bow Wow
8. Tupac: If I did it
9. Tupac and Gerald Ford: At last
10. Tupac Cuddles Hanna Montana
11. Tupacs Ramones Reunion
12. The Ghost of Tupac Versus R. Kelly, Bow Wow, and Michael Tilson Thomas and The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra
13. Future Sex/ GraveyardSounds
Not to rant too often, but this has gotten out of hand. Control, rap is out of. Never before have I agreed so much with Nasir Jones' sentiment: "Im here to get my paper and bounce. Hip-Hop is dead. F*@# Hip-Hop."
My frustration isnt unprovoked. I love Hip-Hop, but listening to the radio recently makes me wanna stab myself in the ear with a sharp object. The same thing, over and over, and over. The new T-Pain song was the last straw. It is a compilation of all the recent "hip-hop killing", dime-a-dozen, cookie cutter club bangers to the run of the mill "snap your fingers" beat. With such memorable, reference lyrics like "you can do it all by yo self"(Lil Jon), "..buy you a drank...I got money in the bank"(Lil Scrappy), "we in the bed like: boom, boom..."(Lil Bootsy), and "walk it out"(DJ Unc)- this song goes beyond simply regurgitating the latest hit, to actually biting all the latest hits at the same time. But the demise of the music is not pinned to T-Pain; he is just the McDonalds to my Supersize Me. The fall of the industry came when it changed from a passion shared by few, to a commercialized beast fed to the masses. Commercialization is like watering down Kool-aid to stretch it out. It takes something good and dillutes it until its a shell of the original product. And as time passes, the music travels farther and farther from its roots, because its history isnt taught. Nobody will realize that the new DJ Lil Knuck Knuck(not a real artist, I hope) beat was actually a sample from J-Dilla. I see it already. Gwen Stefani had another hit. The beat is what sold it, but nobody who actually listens to Gwen Stefani knows that it was a Biggie Smalls classic, and originally, Earth Wind and Fire. People forget, and now what was a passion, is just a punchline(See: The white rapper show, Malibu gansta, "Im from the streets!", etc).
I guess I just want people to remember what real Hip-Hop is. Theres nothing wrong with liking the hacks: I myself have leaned wit it, snapped my fingers, and chicken noodle souped. There is something wrong, though, when people forget what it used to be like. Ten years ago today, Christopher Wallace was shot and killed. I wonder when the radio will stop giving tributes to him. Whens the last time you heard a tribute to Eazy E? J Dilla? Hell, Aaliyah didnt even get recognized in 2006, just five years after her death. Just recognize, is all I ask. And maybe stop requesting that damn T-Pain song so much... -j
As an added bonus, here is GQs list of future Tupac albums to look forward to:
1. The Very Best of Tupac from the last three weeks
2. Tupac: Sneezes and Coughs
3. The Ghost of Tupac Versus R. Kelly
4. Walt Disney Presents Tupac: Frozen in Time
5. Tupac Live from Argentina
6. Tupac Dead but still from Argentina
7. The Ghost of Tupac Versus R. Kelly and Bow Wow
8. Tupac: If I did it
9. Tupac and Gerald Ford: At last
10. Tupac Cuddles Hanna Montana
11. Tupacs Ramones Reunion
12. The Ghost of Tupac Versus R. Kelly, Bow Wow, and Michael Tilson Thomas and The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra
13. Future Sex/ GraveyardSounds
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Today....
Looks a bit cloudy. Could it be a sign? Yesterday was absolutely beautiful- weatherwise, anyhow. The events were varied. Isnt that all anyone wants in life- for their Today to be better than their Yesterday? Despite the gloom covering the sky, Im in a pretty good mood. Racism is normally one of my buttons, but I read a story about a newspaper printing a story called "Why I hate Black People", and my mood wasnt even salted in the slightest. And I only slightly agree with the experts opinion- that the story "wont hurt Asian-Black relations". I dont think the average person will be effected in the slightest, but extremist on both ends will take this and run with it. Off topic, but I sure hope I win the lottery tomorrow. Laugh if you will, but I have a good feeling about this one. I dont normally waste my time or money on such frivolous activities, but for me to win would be a made-for-tv-movie waiting to happen. Im on the verge of losing my job, so how perfect would it be for me to go in tomorrow, sit down with the big wigs with their smug, fat faces, and before they even have the pleasure of handing me that pink slip, tell them I have just won more money than they will see in a lifetime, and to take this job and stick it between the lumps at the top of their legs- which just happen to be butted up against each other, hence the name. Ahh, vengeance- how sweet thou art. Made for TV. Then again, anyone whos ever been in love can tell you that life is not like the movies. *Sigh* reality strikes again. Maybe thats why the sky is gray, to remind me that nothing is perfect. I guess I shouldnt rely on this lotto ticket then. I dont need millions anyway. All I need is for today to be just a little better than yesterday...-j
Looks a bit cloudy. Could it be a sign? Yesterday was absolutely beautiful- weatherwise, anyhow. The events were varied. Isnt that all anyone wants in life- for their Today to be better than their Yesterday? Despite the gloom covering the sky, Im in a pretty good mood. Racism is normally one of my buttons, but I read a story about a newspaper printing a story called "Why I hate Black People", and my mood wasnt even salted in the slightest. And I only slightly agree with the experts opinion- that the story "wont hurt Asian-Black relations". I dont think the average person will be effected in the slightest, but extremist on both ends will take this and run with it. Off topic, but I sure hope I win the lottery tomorrow. Laugh if you will, but I have a good feeling about this one. I dont normally waste my time or money on such frivolous activities, but for me to win would be a made-for-tv-movie waiting to happen. Im on the verge of losing my job, so how perfect would it be for me to go in tomorrow, sit down with the big wigs with their smug, fat faces, and before they even have the pleasure of handing me that pink slip, tell them I have just won more money than they will see in a lifetime, and to take this job and stick it between the lumps at the top of their legs- which just happen to be butted up against each other, hence the name. Ahh, vengeance- how sweet thou art. Made for TV. Then again, anyone whos ever been in love can tell you that life is not like the movies. *Sigh* reality strikes again. Maybe thats why the sky is gray, to remind me that nothing is perfect. I guess I shouldnt rely on this lotto ticket then. I dont need millions anyway. All I need is for today to be just a little better than yesterday...-j
Saturday, January 20, 2007
China....
....fires an astonishing first- a ground-to-space missile - with amazing accuracy. The US is generally outraged at such displays of military muscle, but are quietly soothed as Republicans begin investigating whether this technology can be used against Hillary Clinton, who announced her presidential bid today. Its only the beginning of 2007, and Im already sick of the 08 Presidential Election coverage. I think its amazing that so many Dems have already put in their bids with confidence, while only one Republican has officially entered the race to date. The character assassination of Clinton and Obama(especially him), is already getting on my nerves, so I wont speak of any of it again until something relevant is said. Speaking of things said(!), "our black citizens should just get over it". Wow. Congratulations on leaving me speechless. But why stop at Blacks? Hey Jews, remember that whole Holocaust thing? Leave it alone already! And Native Americans? Yea, your country was stolen and people nearly extinct, but its a dead horse- stop beating it! What amazes me isn't that such ignorance is occasionally leaked from the mouths of our so called leaders, but how smoothly other politicians with similar beliefs- some current and former Klansmen- can cover their feelings. Showing dismay only that he aired these beliefs, not that he feels them. *sigh* I must not be fit for politics. I have little patience for fools being themselves. But today wasnt all negative- I did discover a wonderful new song. Its called "Hidden Charms" by Van Hunt. Find it yourselves, lazy. Of course, I also discovered the dumbest song ever. "Its peanut butter jelly time"? Are you serious? Is he serious? Hip Hop is dead. Im going back to bed.... -j
....fires an astonishing first- a ground-to-space missile - with amazing accuracy. The US is generally outraged at such displays of military muscle, but are quietly soothed as Republicans begin investigating whether this technology can be used against Hillary Clinton, who announced her presidential bid today. Its only the beginning of 2007, and Im already sick of the 08 Presidential Election coverage. I think its amazing that so many Dems have already put in their bids with confidence, while only one Republican has officially entered the race to date. The character assassination of Clinton and Obama(especially him), is already getting on my nerves, so I wont speak of any of it again until something relevant is said. Speaking of things said(!), "our black citizens should just get over it". Wow. Congratulations on leaving me speechless. But why stop at Blacks? Hey Jews, remember that whole Holocaust thing? Leave it alone already! And Native Americans? Yea, your country was stolen and people nearly extinct, but its a dead horse- stop beating it! What amazes me isn't that such ignorance is occasionally leaked from the mouths of our so called leaders, but how smoothly other politicians with similar beliefs- some current and former Klansmen- can cover their feelings. Showing dismay only that he aired these beliefs, not that he feels them. *sigh* I must not be fit for politics. I have little patience for fools being themselves. But today wasnt all negative- I did discover a wonderful new song. Its called "Hidden Charms" by Van Hunt. Find it yourselves, lazy. Of course, I also discovered the dumbest song ever. "Its peanut butter jelly time"? Are you serious? Is he serious? Hip Hop is dead. Im going back to bed.... -j
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Christmas trees....
Sugar cookies. Santa hats. Mistletoe. I searched, in vain, for that elusive Christmas spirit. Since Halloween, Id been planning on making the most of this holiday. In my mind, I saw a month of constant elation. Coupled with all the stuff I planned on picking up for myself while shopping for others, this was shaping up to be as perfect as a holiday season could be. But somehow, December ninteenth had come, and I had yet to feel that...umph. When your in love, nobody has to tell you in your in love. You just know it. Christmas was supposed to be all around me. But it wasnt.
Eggnog. Potlucks. Gift exchanges. Cocoa. Malls. Wassle. Poinsettas. Nothing.
Christmas was upon me, and I was afraid I was going to miss it.
Then I wondered, what exactly is "Christmas spirit"?
Rewind to Sunday School: Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ.
Ok.
But how does it relate to Christmas spirit?
Hmm, let me see. Saviors birth.... famous for being selfless.... we give to others imitating that selflessness.
I think Im on to something here.
Christmas is bigger than just a holiday- it is a season. Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall, Christmas.
And like summer heat, everyone feels its effects. Tips are healthier, employers act more human,
and even road rage is down. The spirit is real. Everyone feels it- religous, atheist, even scientologist. With all the smiling and cheer, you would think we all moved to Whoville for the month, but its easy to miss it. The symptoms- ginger snaps, outdoor group singing, use of the word "jolly"- can easily be distracting from the original cause of celebration. What I mean is, the cloud of euphoria that blankets the nation isnt born from mass, chaotic shopping. It doesnt come from secret santa's with five dollar limits, nor from grinches and scrooges having a change of heart. It comes from that guy whom everyone knows. No matter what one believes about him, the reason for the season is rooted in the character of Jesus. He was about others, so we remember him, and we think about others. Its very simple, and I have a beautiful woman named Anyaa to thank for reminding me of it.
We were at work, and I went to get a bite to eat. I returned with food and she asked why I didnt tell her I was going so I could grab her some too.
Why didnt I?
She had done it for me many times before, with out being asked. In fact, she is always thinking about other peoples needs. It was profoundly simple principle, and it opened my eyes.
I was looking for Christmas spirit in all the wrong places. The shopping, santa hats, the seasons greetings, the gingersnaps- all merely side effects. The root, the true souce of Christmas spirit, is remembering that selflessness.
Thinking of others- I get it.
Thank you, Anyaa.
Merry Christmas. I know Ive said it around five hundred times already, but I meant that one. December ninteenth, huh? That means I still got six days of constant smiling left. :)
Happy birthday, Jesus.
Sugar cookies. Santa hats. Mistletoe. I searched, in vain, for that elusive Christmas spirit. Since Halloween, Id been planning on making the most of this holiday. In my mind, I saw a month of constant elation. Coupled with all the stuff I planned on picking up for myself while shopping for others, this was shaping up to be as perfect as a holiday season could be. But somehow, December ninteenth had come, and I had yet to feel that...umph. When your in love, nobody has to tell you in your in love. You just know it. Christmas was supposed to be all around me. But it wasnt.
Eggnog. Potlucks. Gift exchanges. Cocoa. Malls. Wassle. Poinsettas. Nothing.
Christmas was upon me, and I was afraid I was going to miss it.
Then I wondered, what exactly is "Christmas spirit"?
Rewind to Sunday School: Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ.
Ok.
But how does it relate to Christmas spirit?
Hmm, let me see. Saviors birth.... famous for being selfless.... we give to others imitating that selflessness.
I think Im on to something here.
Christmas is bigger than just a holiday- it is a season. Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall, Christmas.
And like summer heat, everyone feels its effects. Tips are healthier, employers act more human,
and even road rage is down. The spirit is real. Everyone feels it- religous, atheist, even scientologist. With all the smiling and cheer, you would think we all moved to Whoville for the month, but its easy to miss it. The symptoms- ginger snaps, outdoor group singing, use of the word "jolly"- can easily be distracting from the original cause of celebration. What I mean is, the cloud of euphoria that blankets the nation isnt born from mass, chaotic shopping. It doesnt come from secret santa's with five dollar limits, nor from grinches and scrooges having a change of heart. It comes from that guy whom everyone knows. No matter what one believes about him, the reason for the season is rooted in the character of Jesus. He was about others, so we remember him, and we think about others. Its very simple, and I have a beautiful woman named Anyaa to thank for reminding me of it.
We were at work, and I went to get a bite to eat. I returned with food and she asked why I didnt tell her I was going so I could grab her some too.
Why didnt I?
She had done it for me many times before, with out being asked. In fact, she is always thinking about other peoples needs. It was profoundly simple principle, and it opened my eyes.
I was looking for Christmas spirit in all the wrong places. The shopping, santa hats, the seasons greetings, the gingersnaps- all merely side effects. The root, the true souce of Christmas spirit, is remembering that selflessness.
Thinking of others- I get it.
Thank you, Anyaa.
Merry Christmas. I know Ive said it around five hundred times already, but I meant that one. December ninteenth, huh? That means I still got six days of constant smiling left. :)
Happy birthday, Jesus.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tonight....
I thought about all those silly celebrities who make sex tapes then get upset when they are "accidentally" exposed to the public. Before tonight, I had never had sympathy for the fools. Why leave copies with your not famous, ex lover? Why even perform so lewdly on film? Or, why make it in the first place? Before, they were fools. I apologize to them all. No, I didnt make a sex tape, but I now understand the seduction of performance. Being on camera, especially when one has the illusion of privacy, can be purely intoxicating. Combined with other inhibition-freeing agents, (such as alcohol, drugs, hunger, sleep deprivation, or new-toy hysteria) can lead to some dangerous results. I call it an oops coctail(Not really. I just made that up and probably will never use it again.) I mixed a lack of sleep, hunger, and the elation (ever heard of "boys and their toys"?) of a new camera. Watching the results were brutal. I dont even know what happened. I just remember once the camera was on, I had to fill it with stupidity. The results ended up in a short, independant film with no words, but good music. The video was forty five seconds of me being a dummo, but combined with an hour of dillusional post editing, and I can now never run for public office. .Maybe I should just make it public right now, so my opponents wont be able to blindside the public with it ever? Maybe. Oh well, not like I could ever be president anyway...-j
I thought about all those silly celebrities who make sex tapes then get upset when they are "accidentally" exposed to the public. Before tonight, I had never had sympathy for the fools. Why leave copies with your not famous, ex lover? Why even perform so lewdly on film? Or, why make it in the first place? Before, they were fools. I apologize to them all. No, I didnt make a sex tape, but I now understand the seduction of performance. Being on camera, especially when one has the illusion of privacy, can be purely intoxicating. Combined with other inhibition-freeing agents, (such as alcohol, drugs, hunger, sleep deprivation, or new-toy hysteria) can lead to some dangerous results. I call it an oops coctail(Not really. I just made that up and probably will never use it again.) I mixed a lack of sleep, hunger, and the elation (ever heard of "boys and their toys"?) of a new camera. Watching the results were brutal. I dont even know what happened. I just remember once the camera was on, I had to fill it with stupidity. The results ended up in a short, independant film with no words, but good music. The video was forty five seconds of me being a dummo, but combined with an hour of dillusional post editing, and I can now never run for public office. .Maybe I should just make it public right now, so my opponents wont be able to blindside the public with it ever? Maybe. Oh well, not like I could ever be president anyway...-j
Monday, November 27, 2006
Today....
I questioned, again, actor Michael Richards apology for his racist outburst. Supporters are loading their pistols with clips of rehearsed ammo already I know. "What more do you want from him?!" is the typical sympathizers response, but stems more from empathy and bias. Many people, white and other, have been in or can imagine being in Mr. Richards shoes: being accused of being a racist. A harsh accusation in America, but before you jump on the "get off his back"-bandwagon, hear the other side. By others I mean any minority who has been the victim of verbal racism which, in this case, is the Black community.
I understand the possibility of saying things you dont really mean in times of anger with the sole purpose of hurting your target, it happens. But even when angry or inebriated, words dont just appear from nowhere. During those times, you lose inhibitions, not gain random insight. You may put the moves on a girl youve thought was cute, but you probably wont kiss your male drinking buddy. In anger, you may call attention to your friends slightly large nose knowing theyre insecure about it, but you probably wont tell them youve always hated them and their family - these thoughts, of loathing or lust, existed before; they just were released(This applies to you too, Mel). And I am neither publicist nor psychic, but I planned out his response in detail as soon as I heard about the comments. Typical celebrity: Blame it on larger, uncontrollable problem to gain sympathy(drugs, anger, or drinking), get celebrity friends to admit how out of character this behavior is and how good of a guy you are, affiliate yourself with offended partys leadership, then check into self-help center(rehab). Typical.
Then again, maybe he really isnt a racist, and really is sorry.
What matters most is what happens now.
It seems this has awaken what to some was an accepted affliction, to others a lost cause, and still to some, a dead horse - racism.
Rev. Jesse Jackson, NAACP leaders, and even pro-black comedian Paul Mooney have joined forces, calling for the N-word to be abolished from everyones vocabulary, including rappers and comedians. As a black man who has previously tried, and failed, to end its usage, I know how tall of an order this is. But this time, I am inspired. And, perhaps more importantly, not alone. Like a mothers labor pains before the miracle of life, those hurtful, hateful comments were but a prelude to the birth of a movement. -j
I questioned, again, actor Michael Richards apology for his racist outburst. Supporters are loading their pistols with clips of rehearsed ammo already I know. "What more do you want from him?!" is the typical sympathizers response, but stems more from empathy and bias. Many people, white and other, have been in or can imagine being in Mr. Richards shoes: being accused of being a racist. A harsh accusation in America, but before you jump on the "get off his back"-bandwagon, hear the other side. By others I mean any minority who has been the victim of verbal racism which, in this case, is the Black community.
I understand the possibility of saying things you dont really mean in times of anger with the sole purpose of hurting your target, it happens. But even when angry or inebriated, words dont just appear from nowhere. During those times, you lose inhibitions, not gain random insight. You may put the moves on a girl youve thought was cute, but you probably wont kiss your male drinking buddy. In anger, you may call attention to your friends slightly large nose knowing theyre insecure about it, but you probably wont tell them youve always hated them and their family - these thoughts, of loathing or lust, existed before; they just were released(This applies to you too, Mel). And I am neither publicist nor psychic, but I planned out his response in detail as soon as I heard about the comments. Typical celebrity: Blame it on larger, uncontrollable problem to gain sympathy(drugs, anger, or drinking), get celebrity friends to admit how out of character this behavior is and how good of a guy you are, affiliate yourself with offended partys leadership, then check into self-help center(rehab). Typical.
Then again, maybe he really isnt a racist, and really is sorry.
What matters most is what happens now.
It seems this has awaken what to some was an accepted affliction, to others a lost cause, and still to some, a dead horse - racism.
Rev. Jesse Jackson, NAACP leaders, and even pro-black comedian Paul Mooney have joined forces, calling for the N-word to be abolished from everyones vocabulary, including rappers and comedians. As a black man who has previously tried, and failed, to end its usage, I know how tall of an order this is. But this time, I am inspired. And, perhaps more importantly, not alone. Like a mothers labor pains before the miracle of life, those hurtful, hateful comments were but a prelude to the birth of a movement. -j
Monday, November 06, 2006
Today....
A twenty-four year old Iraqi man is likely to get a tatoo, even though Muslim law forbids it. Its becoming popular amongst many of his peers these days. Apparently, it's very likely for them to be kidnapped, tortured, and killed, so they get their names and info tatooed on places least likely to be disfigured by torture in order to insure their families will locate them for proper burial.
This war is taking its toll on me. Its easy for many Americans not to think about it: its only natural to become numb to such constant conditions. But reading about Ali Abbas- searching from morgue to morgue, rummaging through bodies for his kidnapped uncle who could only be identified by the name tatooed on his thigh- it was a blunt reminder that while we only have to hear the occasional death toll update, hundreds of thousands of people have to face grim reality everyday. The hardest decision I had to make that day was whether to eat pizza, like I was craving, or the healthier but more expensive choice of a turkey sandwich. That same day, Ali, who is the same age as me, was choosing to defy his religion in expectation of torture and death. Yes, life in Iraq is quite different than here. I can forget how priveleged my life really is, but a reminder what people need. Its true people need to count their blessings, but it shouldn't end there. They need to remember the victims, alive and dead, and the families living with the consequences of "Operation: Iraqi Freedom" everyday. Everyday people much like you and I have face unimaginable circumstances. The city is bombed out and depleted, the economy is in ruins with unemployment as high as fifty percent in some places, and white people roam the streets with high caliber weapons, accusing them of "fitting the profile", all while dealing with the death of loved ones. They still have the same problems we have on top of all that: work will suck, dishes will need to be done, children will need to be raised, and bills will need to be paid. All Im asking is that we remember. If we can remember, and sympathize, we will take action. We wont ignore the news about the rest of the world, thinking it doesnt affect us. We'll speak what's on our minds instead of conforming. We'll make decisions from a human perspective, instead of looking at death tolls like they're only numbers. We'll vote. In Ali, I saw my life from another point of view. Maybe another point of view is what we all need....-j
A twenty-four year old Iraqi man is likely to get a tatoo, even though Muslim law forbids it. Its becoming popular amongst many of his peers these days. Apparently, it's very likely for them to be kidnapped, tortured, and killed, so they get their names and info tatooed on places least likely to be disfigured by torture in order to insure their families will locate them for proper burial.
This war is taking its toll on me. Its easy for many Americans not to think about it: its only natural to become numb to such constant conditions. But reading about Ali Abbas- searching from morgue to morgue, rummaging through bodies for his kidnapped uncle who could only be identified by the name tatooed on his thigh- it was a blunt reminder that while we only have to hear the occasional death toll update, hundreds of thousands of people have to face grim reality everyday. The hardest decision I had to make that day was whether to eat pizza, like I was craving, or the healthier but more expensive choice of a turkey sandwich. That same day, Ali, who is the same age as me, was choosing to defy his religion in expectation of torture and death. Yes, life in Iraq is quite different than here. I can forget how priveleged my life really is, but a reminder what people need. Its true people need to count their blessings, but it shouldn't end there. They need to remember the victims, alive and dead, and the families living with the consequences of "Operation: Iraqi Freedom" everyday. Everyday people much like you and I have face unimaginable circumstances. The city is bombed out and depleted, the economy is in ruins with unemployment as high as fifty percent in some places, and white people roam the streets with high caliber weapons, accusing them of "fitting the profile", all while dealing with the death of loved ones. They still have the same problems we have on top of all that: work will suck, dishes will need to be done, children will need to be raised, and bills will need to be paid. All Im asking is that we remember. If we can remember, and sympathize, we will take action. We wont ignore the news about the rest of the world, thinking it doesnt affect us. We'll speak what's on our minds instead of conforming. We'll make decisions from a human perspective, instead of looking at death tolls like they're only numbers. We'll vote. In Ali, I saw my life from another point of view. Maybe another point of view is what we all need....-j
Monday, October 16, 2006
Tonight.....
On NNC News at ten: Could you be killed instantly by this daily activity? Find out, tonight.... Teasers suck. Evil genius. The answer is yes to the following questions. No details.
1. Do I still have milk that expired in July?
2. Do I electively watch romantic comedies ?
3. Did G-dub lose the election?
4. Will I be a published author?
5. Am I a fool for a distant lesbian?
6. Is there a God?
Sometimes you gotta ask yourself the hard questions. A hard question is defined by answer difficulty. Sometimes you gotta seek the hard answers, because questions are easy. Some need more than a simple yes or no though. Whats the difference between a patriot and a terrorist? I hate writing that "t" word. Makes me feel like Ill be flagged or something. Stupid domestic spying. People need goals. Right now mine are simple. Travel, chill with my best friend, eat captain crunch or(and? hmm...) Life in my pjs while watching tv, learn Spanish, write a book. Its the sixteenth, got hallowee plans yet? I love this holiday. This all seems so hectic to me. I blame too much tv and a deterioration of attention span. two more, and Im out. Forget first aid kits, experts say the most important thing to keep in your car(in case of an accident) is a disposable camera for insurance pictures. That sums up whats wrong with our countrys mentality. Last thing: Register to vote and then vote. Now. That is all...-j
On NNC News at ten: Could you be killed instantly by this daily activity? Find out, tonight.... Teasers suck. Evil genius. The answer is yes to the following questions. No details.
1. Do I still have milk that expired in July?
2. Do I electively watch romantic comedies ?
3. Did G-dub lose the election?
4. Will I be a published author?
5. Am I a fool for a distant lesbian?
6. Is there a God?
Sometimes you gotta ask yourself the hard questions. A hard question is defined by answer difficulty. Sometimes you gotta seek the hard answers, because questions are easy. Some need more than a simple yes or no though. Whats the difference between a patriot and a terrorist? I hate writing that "t" word. Makes me feel like Ill be flagged or something. Stupid domestic spying. People need goals. Right now mine are simple. Travel, chill with my best friend, eat captain crunch or(and? hmm...) Life in my pjs while watching tv, learn Spanish, write a book. Its the sixteenth, got hallowee plans yet? I love this holiday. This all seems so hectic to me. I blame too much tv and a deterioration of attention span. two more, and Im out. Forget first aid kits, experts say the most important thing to keep in your car(in case of an accident) is a disposable camera for insurance pictures. That sums up whats wrong with our countrys mentality. Last thing: Register to vote and then vote. Now. That is all...-j
Friday, October 13, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tonight....
Is a strange one. Un noche extrana. I feel so disconnected, so distant from life. Time lapses without rhythm or reason; first two hours, then two minutes. Now nothing. I feel like Im stuck in an abyss. Not a glib metaphor, but a moment of true uncertainty. Am I moving, or still? I cant begin to sleep, but only want to in order to end this cycle of timelessness. Am I waiting for something? Ive been here, literally only here, unable to move for who knows how long. No amusement. Not lost in thoughts, just in between time. Ten minutes have passed. I missed them, but at least I know the wheels still churn. Maybe its all in my head, but it feels real; like an unquenchable thirst. Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I write more? Maybe years of constant outside influence and amusement have left me inept in self stimulation(mental stimulation, pervo)? Maybe this is the sole source of mans need for superficial stimuli: alcohol en mass, bombardment of images and constant sound in all media, and even basic needs, like consumption for survival, mutated into overindulgence and entertainment? Maybe this moment is of a clarity so pure, I am paralyzed? Or maybe Im just bored.......-j
Is a strange one. Un noche extrana. I feel so disconnected, so distant from life. Time lapses without rhythm or reason; first two hours, then two minutes. Now nothing. I feel like Im stuck in an abyss. Not a glib metaphor, but a moment of true uncertainty. Am I moving, or still? I cant begin to sleep, but only want to in order to end this cycle of timelessness. Am I waiting for something? Ive been here, literally only here, unable to move for who knows how long. No amusement. Not lost in thoughts, just in between time. Ten minutes have passed. I missed them, but at least I know the wheels still churn. Maybe its all in my head, but it feels real; like an unquenchable thirst. Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I write more? Maybe years of constant outside influence and amusement have left me inept in self stimulation(mental stimulation, pervo)? Maybe this is the sole source of mans need for superficial stimuli: alcohol en mass, bombardment of images and constant sound in all media, and even basic needs, like consumption for survival, mutated into overindulgence and entertainment? Maybe this moment is of a clarity so pure, I am paralyzed? Or maybe Im just bored.......-j
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Today.....
Was a good'un. Nothing special, just glad to be alive. Yesterday it was numbers, today Im into rules. So here are the eight rules of Blog Klub.
1. I make my own rules.
2. Rules are made to be broken.
3. See rule four.
5. All Cs will be replaced with Ks
6. All Ss will become Zs, cuz thatz kool.
7. I like cereal, but hate milk(I mean, kereal)
8. There are no rules.
Im learning more about myself all the time(and if I dont know me, then surely you dont know me). I learned that I have a need to physically express myself through aggression(nothing dangerous, just guy stuff like drinking beer, fighting, and...i dont know, scratching or whatever), yet I can only take so much. Another roomate means twice the headache. Captain Crunch gone twice as fast. Bathroom twice as funky. TV twice as occupied. I need to interact with other men occasionally, but I understand why hippos and lions chase the other men off after a while. I need my own space(but MySpace is still stupid to me). I need to be king of my jungle. Head of my house. Ogre of my swamp. I cant have another mans pee on my toilet seat! Thats my territory, buddy. But if I was to go postal and start busting heads, I would be in the wrong. Stupid civilization has robbed me of my right to defend my territory. Now I gotta be in my room for privacy, instead of sittin on my couch in my underwear in the middle of the night updating my blog. It aint fair, I say. Guess I should use it as motivation to clean this craphole up. Dont you hate when things end abruptly? Or when people start to say something, then............-j
Was a good'un. Nothing special, just glad to be alive. Yesterday it was numbers, today Im into rules. So here are the eight rules of Blog Klub.
1. I make my own rules.
2. Rules are made to be broken.
3. See rule four.
5. All Cs will be replaced with Ks
6. All Ss will become Zs, cuz thatz kool.
7. I like cereal, but hate milk(I mean, kereal)
8. There are no rules.
Im learning more about myself all the time(and if I dont know me, then surely you dont know me). I learned that I have a need to physically express myself through aggression(nothing dangerous, just guy stuff like drinking beer, fighting, and...i dont know, scratching or whatever), yet I can only take so much. Another roomate means twice the headache. Captain Crunch gone twice as fast. Bathroom twice as funky. TV twice as occupied. I need to interact with other men occasionally, but I understand why hippos and lions chase the other men off after a while. I need my own space(but MySpace is still stupid to me). I need to be king of my jungle. Head of my house. Ogre of my swamp. I cant have another mans pee on my toilet seat! Thats my territory, buddy. But if I was to go postal and start busting heads, I would be in the wrong. Stupid civilization has robbed me of my right to defend my territory. Now I gotta be in my room for privacy, instead of sittin on my couch in my underwear in the middle of the night updating my blog. It aint fair, I say. Guess I should use it as motivation to clean this craphole up. Dont you hate when things end abruptly? Or when people start to say something, then............-j
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Something.....
Told me to save it on my flash drive just in case. I didnt. Now, its possible the progress I made on my book has been lost forever. If so, I dont know if I have the energy to try again. The thought alone is making me exhausted. Thats a hard one to spell. I used it in the six pages I wrote last night, and had to look it up to make sure I got it right. Such a beautiful shame, it would be, if all was lost. So tired.......-j
Told me to save it on my flash drive just in case. I didnt. Now, its possible the progress I made on my book has been lost forever. If so, I dont know if I have the energy to try again. The thought alone is making me exhausted. Thats a hard one to spell. I used it in the six pages I wrote last night, and had to look it up to make sure I got it right. Such a beautiful shame, it would be, if all was lost. So tired.......-j
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Sayings.....
Are usually based on logic. Play with fire, and you get burned. I burned the roof of my mouth playing with matches. Lesson learned. So much to say, yet such a short memory. I dont imagine DMX reads this or any other blog, but I wish he did. Id tell him I was dissapointed with his interview in Vibe. Insulting J for wearing flipflops? Since when is anyone, thugs included, defined by the clothes they wear? The petty squabbling and negativity were far from the positive black role model he once was. Im sure I had more to say about it, but since I read the article like a week ago, and dont have the magazine with me, thatll do. Note this entry. Somebody write this down: I am the first(?) to predict that Lou Dobbs will run for office in the near future. Its in the cards, the stars are lined up, the tea leaves are circling, all that stuff. You heard it here first. Five costumes that would be great, but nobody will choose this Halloween; Three hole punch Jim, The changling assassin from StarWars Episode 2, Hugo Chavez, Janet Jacksons Boob, Comic Book guy from the Simpsons. Is it too early to think about that stuff? I think not. Its the closest holiday next to my birthday. I think Im gonna sleep in tomorrow. One of lifes simple pleasures. Gotta look for that new job. Perhaps waking up early to get a head start would be ideal(early bird catches the worm), but Id much rather perform my job search on the clock at my current job. Another one of lifes simple pleasures. Im not old(geeze, how much longer can I say that with confidence?), but I just remembered Romper Room for some reason. I used to watch it at like five thirty in the morning when I woke up for school. Random. Must be bedtime. Another random thing. I asked a guy for any spare turntables he might have, and he had spare turntables to give me. Im gonna own turtables. Scratch that off my LifeList(that list everyone should have of things to do before they die....guess it should be called DeathList then, huh?). You never know if you dont ask. Is that a saying? It should be. Im going to bed.....-j
Are usually based on logic. Play with fire, and you get burned. I burned the roof of my mouth playing with matches. Lesson learned. So much to say, yet such a short memory. I dont imagine DMX reads this or any other blog, but I wish he did. Id tell him I was dissapointed with his interview in Vibe. Insulting J for wearing flipflops? Since when is anyone, thugs included, defined by the clothes they wear? The petty squabbling and negativity were far from the positive black role model he once was. Im sure I had more to say about it, but since I read the article like a week ago, and dont have the magazine with me, thatll do. Note this entry. Somebody write this down: I am the first(?) to predict that Lou Dobbs will run for office in the near future. Its in the cards, the stars are lined up, the tea leaves are circling, all that stuff. You heard it here first. Five costumes that would be great, but nobody will choose this Halloween; Three hole punch Jim, The changling assassin from StarWars Episode 2, Hugo Chavez, Janet Jacksons Boob, Comic Book guy from the Simpsons. Is it too early to think about that stuff? I think not. Its the closest holiday next to my birthday. I think Im gonna sleep in tomorrow. One of lifes simple pleasures. Gotta look for that new job. Perhaps waking up early to get a head start would be ideal(early bird catches the worm), but Id much rather perform my job search on the clock at my current job. Another one of lifes simple pleasures. Im not old(geeze, how much longer can I say that with confidence?), but I just remembered Romper Room for some reason. I used to watch it at like five thirty in the morning when I woke up for school. Random. Must be bedtime. Another random thing. I asked a guy for any spare turntables he might have, and he had spare turntables to give me. Im gonna own turtables. Scratch that off my LifeList(that list everyone should have of things to do before they die....guess it should be called DeathList then, huh?). You never know if you dont ask. Is that a saying? It should be. Im going to bed.....-j
Friday, September 22, 2006
Today.....
Is my best friends birthday. Happy birthday, AC. And Wendy. Happy Birthday to you too. And Vicky, you too. None of which read this blog, but its the thought that counts, right? Thats what people say when they dont have gifts, anyway. I bought someone a "Happy Rosh Hannah" card. I thought it was pretty funny(no offense to any Jewish folk), but apparently today is Rosh Hanna. I think its the jewish new year. My jewish coworker couldnt elaborate on the meaning of it, since he doesnt really know. Is there such thing as a "bad jew"? Do they use that term? Other coworkers have joked that he is a "bad jew" because he doesnt fit any of the stereotypes(minus the jewfro); hes non religious, shaves everyday, and poor(those are the only stereotypes ive heard). I admit, I laughed. I laugh a lot. But it made me think about stereotypes. The same guy who coined "bad jew", joked(i think) about me being a bad black guy. He said I play tennis and soccer, so something is wrong with me. Ha ha. I wonder where else he was going with that. I also have a job. Whats that you say? Yea, it better be nothing. I dont have any kids, Im not a gangster(apparently couldnt be one if i tried, cuz i wear flipflops. yea, i know), and have never been to jail. This happened like three or four days ago, but now that I think about it, Im insulted! I should kick his......no, wait. Thats what he want me to do. Stereotypes suck. Its like, do you change your behavior to avoid them, or just accept them as the guidlines for whats expected of you? I try to just do me, but they are pretty hard to ignore. Like when I get crappy crap crap service at a restaurant, and its time to pay. Do I leave a bad tip? If I do, she/he will chalk it up to "blacks tipping poorly", but I hate to reward poor service. What to do, what to do. Thats the least of my worries though. Its at work when its a constant problem. I feel scrutinized to the fullest constantly. I read a poem called "Being Black in the Workplace" that verbalized what I feel daily to a T. Its like I gotta work twice as hard, or be classified as lazy. Look, just because I update my blog at work doesnt mean Im lazy. Im multitasking/ practicing time management. Its slow anyway, so who cares what I do with my downtime? And if Im not really early, then Im late. It sux. I think I need to go into business for myself. They always say, do what you love, and youll be successful at it. Unfortunately, I think the market for sitting on my butt, eating, and playing videogames with my friends is pretty hard to break into. Early retirement is looking better and better everyday. When I say early, I mean like next year. Oh crap. Its time for me to go to lunch. Dont wanna be late for that.....-j
Is my best friends birthday. Happy birthday, AC. And Wendy. Happy Birthday to you too. And Vicky, you too. None of which read this blog, but its the thought that counts, right? Thats what people say when they dont have gifts, anyway. I bought someone a "Happy Rosh Hannah" card. I thought it was pretty funny(no offense to any Jewish folk), but apparently today is Rosh Hanna. I think its the jewish new year. My jewish coworker couldnt elaborate on the meaning of it, since he doesnt really know. Is there such thing as a "bad jew"? Do they use that term? Other coworkers have joked that he is a "bad jew" because he doesnt fit any of the stereotypes(minus the jewfro); hes non religious, shaves everyday, and poor(those are the only stereotypes ive heard). I admit, I laughed. I laugh a lot. But it made me think about stereotypes. The same guy who coined "bad jew", joked(i think) about me being a bad black guy. He said I play tennis and soccer, so something is wrong with me. Ha ha. I wonder where else he was going with that. I also have a job. Whats that you say? Yea, it better be nothing. I dont have any kids, Im not a gangster(apparently couldnt be one if i tried, cuz i wear flipflops. yea, i know), and have never been to jail. This happened like three or four days ago, but now that I think about it, Im insulted! I should kick his......no, wait. Thats what he want me to do. Stereotypes suck. Its like, do you change your behavior to avoid them, or just accept them as the guidlines for whats expected of you? I try to just do me, but they are pretty hard to ignore. Like when I get crappy crap crap service at a restaurant, and its time to pay. Do I leave a bad tip? If I do, she/he will chalk it up to "blacks tipping poorly", but I hate to reward poor service. What to do, what to do. Thats the least of my worries though. Its at work when its a constant problem. I feel scrutinized to the fullest constantly. I read a poem called "Being Black in the Workplace" that verbalized what I feel daily to a T. Its like I gotta work twice as hard, or be classified as lazy. Look, just because I update my blog at work doesnt mean Im lazy. Im multitasking/ practicing time management. Its slow anyway, so who cares what I do with my downtime? And if Im not really early, then Im late. It sux. I think I need to go into business for myself. They always say, do what you love, and youll be successful at it. Unfortunately, I think the market for sitting on my butt, eating, and playing videogames with my friends is pretty hard to break into. Early retirement is looking better and better everyday. When I say early, I mean like next year. Oh crap. Its time for me to go to lunch. Dont wanna be late for that.....-j
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Hoy....
Je Chereche un Homme. If you know what that means, good for you. I have no clue. I dont speak french, but the word "homme" looks like man for some reason. Its the song Im listening to right now. Id better make this quick; apparently I only have thirty seconds to call and order my CoreRythms exercise videos at this exclusive discount. I can learn to dance and melt away the pounds at the same time! A lotta bad stuff has been happening in the news lately. I was about to update the otherday, but didnt. I think it had something to do with outrage. Bush wanted to "reinterpret" the Geneva Conventions. That was the first and last paragraph I read of that story. Ah, Cheaters. Now here is some quality tv. A man in a bumblebee costume is being beat up by his girlfriend at a seven-eleven. How I do enjoy reality tv. Its the closest thing to some truth in the media. Look at all these commercials. All lies. No, a beautiful single woman is not waiting for me to call her so we can "hook up" via RedHotor LavaLife for $4.99 a minute. No, I cant make $10,000 in my first month using that guys easy real estate program. Music, which I love, is just as bad. Every rapper swears he is a thug who gives a kcuf about the law, not a family man who sweats just like the rest of us when they get pulled over. Every RnB singer swears the only thing in the world that matters is their love, not the war or family drama. And the news paper? A tool used for spin on events. They say "leftist deny raise for minimum wage", not "senators refuse bill that raises minimum wage by a buck, but gives rediculously high tax cuts to the richest of the rich, our buddies". No thank you. I'll stick to watching Flava of Love and Maury("You are not the father"). I wonder if I was lied to the other day? This guy at work comes up to me and says "I just got that BattleStar Gallactica soundtrack. Its really good." I didnt know how to react to that, so I kinda just stared at him, then he walked away. Its funny, but not funny. I was about to look up StarWars conventions, but not now. Stupid peer pressure. I lie too, tho. Later this week, Im gonna call in sick, even tho im not. See what you made me do, bush? Oh crap. I just realized I like Project Runway too. My poor manhood. Tomorrow, Im gonna buy a Leatherman Multi tool to keep the balance. Yea, and drink a beer. In the morning! No, wait. Thatll just make me a drunk. Maybe I should listen to less french music......-j
Je Chereche un Homme. If you know what that means, good for you. I have no clue. I dont speak french, but the word "homme" looks like man for some reason. Its the song Im listening to right now. Id better make this quick; apparently I only have thirty seconds to call and order my CoreRythms exercise videos at this exclusive discount. I can learn to dance and melt away the pounds at the same time! A lotta bad stuff has been happening in the news lately. I was about to update the otherday, but didnt. I think it had something to do with outrage. Bush wanted to "reinterpret" the Geneva Conventions. That was the first and last paragraph I read of that story. Ah, Cheaters. Now here is some quality tv. A man in a bumblebee costume is being beat up by his girlfriend at a seven-eleven. How I do enjoy reality tv. Its the closest thing to some truth in the media. Look at all these commercials. All lies. No, a beautiful single woman is not waiting for me to call her so we can "hook up" via RedHotor LavaLife for $4.99 a minute. No, I cant make $10,000 in my first month using that guys easy real estate program. Music, which I love, is just as bad. Every rapper swears he is a thug who gives a kcuf about the law, not a family man who sweats just like the rest of us when they get pulled over. Every RnB singer swears the only thing in the world that matters is their love, not the war or family drama. And the news paper? A tool used for spin on events. They say "leftist deny raise for minimum wage", not "senators refuse bill that raises minimum wage by a buck, but gives rediculously high tax cuts to the richest of the rich, our buddies". No thank you. I'll stick to watching Flava of Love and Maury("You are not the father"). I wonder if I was lied to the other day? This guy at work comes up to me and says "I just got that BattleStar Gallactica soundtrack. Its really good." I didnt know how to react to that, so I kinda just stared at him, then he walked away. Its funny, but not funny. I was about to look up StarWars conventions, but not now. Stupid peer pressure. I lie too, tho. Later this week, Im gonna call in sick, even tho im not. See what you made me do, bush? Oh crap. I just realized I like Project Runway too. My poor manhood. Tomorrow, Im gonna buy a Leatherman Multi tool to keep the balance. Yea, and drink a beer. In the morning! No, wait. Thatll just make me a drunk. Maybe I should listen to less french music......-j
Monday, September 11, 2006
Everything in moderation....
I think Benjamin Franklin said that. Of course, he stole it from the bible, but people dont like quoting the bible for some reason. I think I past the point of moderation ten cookies ago. Mini-Nilla wafers, even when dipped in strawberry cool whip, have their limits. Its five years after 9/11. For some reason, I was antsy all day. The first four years after just flew by for me, but I expected something to happen this one for some reason. I work at the airport, and it was uneventful even for a normal day. Thats the third thing I have been wrong about in the past few weeks. I had been having "preminitions" about certain events in the past few weeks. Nothing too x-files, just I would wonder about someone or thing, and that person/thing would be in the limelight soon after. It first happened when Corretta Scott King died. The day before, I had a dream that she died. I had a good run since then, guessing events and such, but lately I have been dead wrong(ha! dead wrong!) on several occasions. Most notably, I had the strongest feeling the day before yesterday, that I was going to die(hence my amusement with being dead wrong). I called a couple of people to tell them I love them(if I didnt call you, please dont get angry), but the feeling remained throughout the day. I lived, but the next morning, my ex girlfriend called me to tell me she had a dream that I died. Strange, but Im still alive, and still wrong. I guess my precognitive fantasies were just lucky guesses(sigh). I just now realized that even though I thought it was my last day, I still went to work. Wow. Good thing I didnt die. That wouldve been a crappy way to spend my last day. If it was your last day, what would you do? Maybe you should do it now, since you never know when its time. Off topic, but you know what I find amusing? Listening to all the music in my computer on random. Theres music from like every genre, and the randomness makes it that much more interesting. From Lupe Fiasco, to Luis Armstrong, to Lauryn Hill, to Uncle Luke, back to Ludwig Von Bethoven. I even got stuff I shouldnt have, like Clement Cralie(a french chick I like, even tho I dont understand what shes saying), and Herbie Hancock(even though hes before my time). Its a trip going back and forth. Keeps my emotions on their toes. It seems like I should be writing about 9/11 and stuff, remembering where I was and all, but Im kinda 9/11ed out. Moderation. I think all the media coverage on terror, and the possiblity of terror, and domestic terror, and remembering 9/11 is starting to get to me. I need a break from all this. Since vacations dont come cheap, I bought a fantasy book to get lost in for a while. Its good to be distracted. Clears the head. Too much, apparently, can make one sick to the stomach. Either that, or too much cool whip. Im gonna go throw up about something else now.........-j
I think Benjamin Franklin said that. Of course, he stole it from the bible, but people dont like quoting the bible for some reason. I think I past the point of moderation ten cookies ago. Mini-Nilla wafers, even when dipped in strawberry cool whip, have their limits. Its five years after 9/11. For some reason, I was antsy all day. The first four years after just flew by for me, but I expected something to happen this one for some reason. I work at the airport, and it was uneventful even for a normal day. Thats the third thing I have been wrong about in the past few weeks. I had been having "preminitions" about certain events in the past few weeks. Nothing too x-files, just I would wonder about someone or thing, and that person/thing would be in the limelight soon after. It first happened when Corretta Scott King died. The day before, I had a dream that she died. I had a good run since then, guessing events and such, but lately I have been dead wrong(ha! dead wrong!) on several occasions. Most notably, I had the strongest feeling the day before yesterday, that I was going to die(hence my amusement with being dead wrong). I called a couple of people to tell them I love them(if I didnt call you, please dont get angry), but the feeling remained throughout the day. I lived, but the next morning, my ex girlfriend called me to tell me she had a dream that I died. Strange, but Im still alive, and still wrong. I guess my precognitive fantasies were just lucky guesses(sigh). I just now realized that even though I thought it was my last day, I still went to work. Wow. Good thing I didnt die. That wouldve been a crappy way to spend my last day. If it was your last day, what would you do? Maybe you should do it now, since you never know when its time. Off topic, but you know what I find amusing? Listening to all the music in my computer on random. Theres music from like every genre, and the randomness makes it that much more interesting. From Lupe Fiasco, to Luis Armstrong, to Lauryn Hill, to Uncle Luke, back to Ludwig Von Bethoven. I even got stuff I shouldnt have, like Clement Cralie(a french chick I like, even tho I dont understand what shes saying), and Herbie Hancock(even though hes before my time). Its a trip going back and forth. Keeps my emotions on their toes. It seems like I should be writing about 9/11 and stuff, remembering where I was and all, but Im kinda 9/11ed out. Moderation. I think all the media coverage on terror, and the possiblity of terror, and domestic terror, and remembering 9/11 is starting to get to me. I need a break from all this. Since vacations dont come cheap, I bought a fantasy book to get lost in for a while. Its good to be distracted. Clears the head. Too much, apparently, can make one sick to the stomach. Either that, or too much cool whip. Im gonna go throw up about something else now.........-j
Friday, September 08, 2006
A minute ago.....
I went into a chat room. Dont ask me why. I hadnt been since high school, and that was because I was new to the area and didnt have any friends. It was a "Black" chatroom too. Apparently, they only difference between the races, is how they refer to lewd sex acts. White chat rooms usually refer to "cocks" and such, while black rooms prefer the term.....well you get me. My point is, the only thing in the chat rooms is "eat this", and "suck this", and "view my webcam". People be acting a fool. Why is the internet so nasty? I know people like the annonimity of being online, but I wonder sometimes: If everyone walked around in mask completely hiding their identity, would they act the same way? Im sure there wouldnt be as much arrogance in real life(even in a mask you can get your butt kicked), but would peoples behavior be so vile? I think one is more candid over the phone than would be in real life, because you dont act on things spoken. Maybe its the same thing online. Maybe people only talk that way, but would never actually behave the same: like joking about a dirty sanchez(if you have to ask, trust me: you dont wanna know). Do I do the same thing? I know on some level, I feel more candid on the phone, like the lack of eye to eye contact reminds me of one in a confession booth, but I only say things that I would say in real life. Oh yea! I remember why I exposed myself to that foolishness. I cant sleep. I meant to update this thing earlier, but I thought to myself, "Update with what?". Bush still acting a fool, the war rages on, crimes never cease to amaze me, but what would I be updating? My life? Well, Im still alive, and still ready to get outta here. Thats about it. My sister told me today I was the only one in the family free of drama. Ha! Then our family is a season of Jerry Springer. Drama is relative. I have been accused of being a bit dramatic at times. If my life was a book, would anyone read it? Would I? Geeze, maybe I am boring? Never one to back down from a dare, I guarantee that if I see tomorrow, it wont be like today was. No sir. Thats my motto anyway; You only live once....or, eh......Live each day...... I dont know. Something about everyday being different. Maybe I should put some clothes on and go somewhere right now.... nah. Its late, and I need to make myself sleepy. Dang insomnia. Ive been looking at other blogs. Some of them are amazing. Makes my little paragraph look like scripple on a napkin. Maybe I should spruce up my stuff. Maybe I should stop eating so late too. Neither are too likely to happen, so get used to text and softness around the middle. Any philanthropist wanna fund my trip to anywhere? Consider it research for my book, which I might possibly include you in the dedcation. I kid, I kid. I dont beg from no rich man. What is one to do when lacking creativity and sleepiness? Guess I'll go "lol" and "asl" someone named bigtatas68plus1. The adventures of me. Whats worse is its a direct violation of my motto, because thats the samething I was doing when I was fifteen. Man, what happened to me? Apparently nothing. Gimme another slice of pizza......
I went into a chat room. Dont ask me why. I hadnt been since high school, and that was because I was new to the area and didnt have any friends. It was a "Black" chatroom too. Apparently, they only difference between the races, is how they refer to lewd sex acts. White chat rooms usually refer to "cocks" and such, while black rooms prefer the term.....well you get me. My point is, the only thing in the chat rooms is "eat this", and "suck this", and "view my webcam". People be acting a fool. Why is the internet so nasty? I know people like the annonimity of being online, but I wonder sometimes: If everyone walked around in mask completely hiding their identity, would they act the same way? Im sure there wouldnt be as much arrogance in real life(even in a mask you can get your butt kicked), but would peoples behavior be so vile? I think one is more candid over the phone than would be in real life, because you dont act on things spoken. Maybe its the same thing online. Maybe people only talk that way, but would never actually behave the same: like joking about a dirty sanchez(if you have to ask, trust me: you dont wanna know). Do I do the same thing? I know on some level, I feel more candid on the phone, like the lack of eye to eye contact reminds me of one in a confession booth, but I only say things that I would say in real life. Oh yea! I remember why I exposed myself to that foolishness. I cant sleep. I meant to update this thing earlier, but I thought to myself, "Update with what?". Bush still acting a fool, the war rages on, crimes never cease to amaze me, but what would I be updating? My life? Well, Im still alive, and still ready to get outta here. Thats about it. My sister told me today I was the only one in the family free of drama. Ha! Then our family is a season of Jerry Springer. Drama is relative. I have been accused of being a bit dramatic at times. If my life was a book, would anyone read it? Would I? Geeze, maybe I am boring? Never one to back down from a dare, I guarantee that if I see tomorrow, it wont be like today was. No sir. Thats my motto anyway; You only live once....or, eh......Live each day...... I dont know. Something about everyday being different. Maybe I should put some clothes on and go somewhere right now.... nah. Its late, and I need to make myself sleepy. Dang insomnia. Ive been looking at other blogs. Some of them are amazing. Makes my little paragraph look like scripple on a napkin. Maybe I should spruce up my stuff. Maybe I should stop eating so late too. Neither are too likely to happen, so get used to text and softness around the middle. Any philanthropist wanna fund my trip to anywhere? Consider it research for my book, which I might possibly include you in the dedcation. I kid, I kid. I dont beg from no rich man. What is one to do when lacking creativity and sleepiness? Guess I'll go "lol" and "asl" someone named bigtatas68plus1. The adventures of me. Whats worse is its a direct violation of my motto, because thats the samething I was doing when I was fifteen. Man, what happened to me? Apparently nothing. Gimme another slice of pizza......
Monday, September 04, 2006
Its cold.....
In my apartment. It always is, cuz I sit right in front of the vents. Robe time. Mos Def was arrested for an impromptu performance outside of the MTV Awards, cited for disorderly conduct. The cops were Republicans. I dont say that as a Democrat either: I consider myself independant. I just know they were republicans. Picture this: Youre in New York, outside Radio City Music Hall. The VMA's just ended. Celebrities everywhere. Fans everywhere. Lights. Cameras. Its pretty hectic. Rowdy. Mos Def jumps on top of a truck and starts rapping. Unless youre within twenty feet, its probably too crazy to even hear. Now, in the midst of this chaos, do you think its at all odd he would be singled out for "disorderly conduct"? Not to me, since he was rapping "Katrina Claps", a song critisizing bush for the response to hurricane Katrina. I deduce that the cops were Repubicans. Elementary, my dear Watson. If you need to vent, Mos, hit me up. Its starting to rain. Im glad. Dont you hate when youre halfway through a drink before you realize the cup was dirty? Yesterday, someone asked me when the last time I cried was. I know, what an odd question. I couldnt remember, but whats weird to me is that I cried today. I cried when I read about those six kids who were killed in that fire. It was rough reading it, and my heart goes out to the family. The story said she was originally from Mexico, and that the lights had been off since like May. I swear if I hear any racist prick say anything about "illegal" or "poor", or anything I think is unsympathetic, we gont box. [gont- verb. org southern u.s - 1.going to 2. with intention to perform said act] I also wanna critisize the jerk at CNN who gave Andre Agassi a disrespectful goodbye by saying "he looked like what he was: and old man with a bad back trying to play tennis". Six time Grand Slam champions deserve more respect than that when leaving the game. Whatever the guys name is that wrote that mess needs to get a life, nerd. Stop being so critical. I can pretty much guarantee that guy doesnt have a girlfriend too. Whats that you ask? Do I have a girlfriend? Shut up. Thats different. I could have a girlfriend, but I choose to be single. (Dont let them see you cry, old man....) Its getting late, and Im thirsty. What going on in the news......-j
In the news....
NFL player Steve Foley was shot by an off duty cop. The whole situation seems pretty suspect to me, but since hes a cop, his story is considered the truth...... the crock hunter Steve Irwin was killed on expedition by a stingray. At least he went doing what he loved, I guess...... Ron "Mr Biggs" Iseley was arrested for what is being called "serial tax evasion". How did he get convicted and sentenced so fast, yet not one Enron exec has seen a jail cell?...... Madden 07 video game sales hit over $100 mil in its first week. Im not impressed, since they have a monopoly over NFL related games now. You suck EA. (unless you wanna hire me. in which case, I kid, I kid)....... I wonder what Asatta Shakur did with her day today. Hmm......-j
In my apartment. It always is, cuz I sit right in front of the vents. Robe time. Mos Def was arrested for an impromptu performance outside of the MTV Awards, cited for disorderly conduct. The cops were Republicans. I dont say that as a Democrat either: I consider myself independant. I just know they were republicans. Picture this: Youre in New York, outside Radio City Music Hall. The VMA's just ended. Celebrities everywhere. Fans everywhere. Lights. Cameras. Its pretty hectic. Rowdy. Mos Def jumps on top of a truck and starts rapping. Unless youre within twenty feet, its probably too crazy to even hear. Now, in the midst of this chaos, do you think its at all odd he would be singled out for "disorderly conduct"? Not to me, since he was rapping "Katrina Claps", a song critisizing bush for the response to hurricane Katrina. I deduce that the cops were Repubicans. Elementary, my dear Watson. If you need to vent, Mos, hit me up. Its starting to rain. Im glad. Dont you hate when youre halfway through a drink before you realize the cup was dirty? Yesterday, someone asked me when the last time I cried was. I know, what an odd question. I couldnt remember, but whats weird to me is that I cried today. I cried when I read about those six kids who were killed in that fire. It was rough reading it, and my heart goes out to the family. The story said she was originally from Mexico, and that the lights had been off since like May. I swear if I hear any racist prick say anything about "illegal" or "poor", or anything I think is unsympathetic, we gont box. [gont- verb. org southern u.s - 1.going to 2. with intention to perform said act] I also wanna critisize the jerk at CNN who gave Andre Agassi a disrespectful goodbye by saying "he looked like what he was: and old man with a bad back trying to play tennis". Six time Grand Slam champions deserve more respect than that when leaving the game. Whatever the guys name is that wrote that mess needs to get a life, nerd. Stop being so critical. I can pretty much guarantee that guy doesnt have a girlfriend too. Whats that you ask? Do I have a girlfriend? Shut up. Thats different. I could have a girlfriend, but I choose to be single. (Dont let them see you cry, old man....) Its getting late, and Im thirsty. What going on in the news......-j
In the news....
NFL player Steve Foley was shot by an off duty cop. The whole situation seems pretty suspect to me, but since hes a cop, his story is considered the truth...... the crock hunter Steve Irwin was killed on expedition by a stingray. At least he went doing what he loved, I guess...... Ron "Mr Biggs" Iseley was arrested for what is being called "serial tax evasion". How did he get convicted and sentenced so fast, yet not one Enron exec has seen a jail cell?...... Madden 07 video game sales hit over $100 mil in its first week. Im not impressed, since they have a monopoly over NFL related games now. You suck EA. (unless you wanna hire me. in which case, I kid, I kid)....... I wonder what Asatta Shakur did with her day today. Hmm......-j
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Today.....
I had an interesting conversation with my grandfather, whom I hadnt seen in quite a while. Conversations with him are usually one sided, which isnt a bad thing. They tend to be like the book of Proverbs; jumping topics, but filled with wisdom. He made an interesting statement to me. He said that welfare was the worst thing to happen to black people since slavery, for many reasons. He says the welfare program started when slavery ended. Former slave owners would tell the slaves "You need to feed your family. Give me your acre of land and mule and I will give you fifty cents a week. You can also live on the land and work it, just give me a part of the proceeds." He says welfare turned the hardest working people inept by taking away their drive to work. He says that funds allocated to the states for minoroties was misused for the longest, and when blacks got wind and demanded them, they were used to build rec centers in each city, instead of other uses, and that crack was created and distributed by the CIA to destroy the black community. He says a lot. Some people say all old black men are angry at white people. There may be some truth to that, but he made some interesting points. He ask since cocaine is needed to make crack, and crack is only in the poorest community, who was buying the coke? And where were they buying it from? He says that for the longest time, all guns found in black communities said "Made in China", which means they all came from the same source? It was a long conversation, as you can see. Its funny, though, how we have never had a conversation like that before, yet can both be conspiracy nuts. I use the term loosely, because I think many of the urban legends black people believe are based on some truth. Some of the truths we know are even more outrageous than the rumors, so I dont find sayings like "crack was created intentionally to destroy the black community" too far fetched. I wonder if being a conspiracy theorist is genetic? Ive noticed of late how alike my mama and I are. Its a good feeling to think we would be friends in another life. My sister is driving me crazy. She is doing freestyle kareoke as loud as she can. Ka-re-o-ke. That doesnt look right. Between watching this movie(Flight 93), hearing her racket, and hunger, I cant even thing straight. I think its time to eat. This movie kinda sucks, by the way. I can see why people were dissapointed. Pizza and hot wings? So much for regaining that six pack I lost...-j
I had an interesting conversation with my grandfather, whom I hadnt seen in quite a while. Conversations with him are usually one sided, which isnt a bad thing. They tend to be like the book of Proverbs; jumping topics, but filled with wisdom. He made an interesting statement to me. He said that welfare was the worst thing to happen to black people since slavery, for many reasons. He says the welfare program started when slavery ended. Former slave owners would tell the slaves "You need to feed your family. Give me your acre of land and mule and I will give you fifty cents a week. You can also live on the land and work it, just give me a part of the proceeds." He says welfare turned the hardest working people inept by taking away their drive to work. He says that funds allocated to the states for minoroties was misused for the longest, and when blacks got wind and demanded them, they were used to build rec centers in each city, instead of other uses, and that crack was created and distributed by the CIA to destroy the black community. He says a lot. Some people say all old black men are angry at white people. There may be some truth to that, but he made some interesting points. He ask since cocaine is needed to make crack, and crack is only in the poorest community, who was buying the coke? And where were they buying it from? He says that for the longest time, all guns found in black communities said "Made in China", which means they all came from the same source? It was a long conversation, as you can see. Its funny, though, how we have never had a conversation like that before, yet can both be conspiracy nuts. I use the term loosely, because I think many of the urban legends black people believe are based on some truth. Some of the truths we know are even more outrageous than the rumors, so I dont find sayings like "crack was created intentionally to destroy the black community" too far fetched. I wonder if being a conspiracy theorist is genetic? Ive noticed of late how alike my mama and I are. Its a good feeling to think we would be friends in another life. My sister is driving me crazy. She is doing freestyle kareoke as loud as she can. Ka-re-o-ke. That doesnt look right. Between watching this movie(Flight 93), hearing her racket, and hunger, I cant even thing straight. I think its time to eat. This movie kinda sucks, by the way. I can see why people were dissapointed. Pizza and hot wings? So much for regaining that six pack I lost...-j
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Its late......
relatively. 2:47 am, and Im eating a piece of apple pie with strawberry cool whip on top. delicious. I need to be up at eight though. Ouch. Does apple pie spoil? I sure hope not, cuz i left it out all night. Today was a good day, I think. I got some sunlight, met a few folks which is always fun, took an hour nap, and got some free pizza. I also worked out(I guess thats why Im eating another piece), but most importantly, I met up with an old friend. It was right on time too, since Im going through some stuff, and needed to hear an encouraging word. Not that the conversation was all fluff, just that its good to talk to people with similar experiences to your
own. Instead of uptating this blog, I need to be writing my book. I know that everybody says theyre writing a book, but I really am. Its how I wanna make my living. Well, amongst other things. Not long ago, someone texted me and told me they missed me. Its nice, being missed. Sometimes I feel invisible, or like if I left, wouldnt leave a mark in anyones life. Its not a good feeling to have. I dont have dilussions of grandeur, but for the people who know me, I want to influence their lives in a good way. Maybe thats why I write. In hopes that when Im gone, my written words may be discovered, and I might be remembered. Life seems daunting, at times. I think its time for a change of scenery. My theory is that to get caught up in a routine is to live the same day more than once. If you lived one million days, but only one thousand were different, then you have only lived one thousand days. I want to live each day, not relive the same ones over and over again. Thats why its time go. Too much? Most people think Im nuts, but I dont feel I am. I just wanna live. Its getting late, and I need a glass of orange juice and a shower, but for those doubters who think my leaving talk is a bluff, watch this.......
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Today it rained....
I like the rain, and it was much needed around here. Im finding out more and more what influences creativity with me. So far I have my best friend, rain, Louis Armstrong, classical music, and wine. I just read about a Nebraska state trooper who was fired because of involvement with the KKK, but was reinstated because he was off duty when involved in their activities. Hmm, let me think about this one...I have a federal job, and know of several people(all black, but thats probably coincidental) who have been fired for similar reasons. One was fired for being arrested(unpaid tickets), one was fired for having to extensive of a history(5 yrs ago was his last arrest, and he worked for over a year before being let go), and one was fired because of bad credit. All these people are in positions of public trust, so were let go. Now we have a KKK member cop, but they say he didnt bring his ideals to work? Laughable. Not humorously, but hysterically. This hypocrisy is enough to drive one mad. Police officers are in positions of power, and to have an officer openly partake in a local terrorist group but maintain his position is unbelievable. It doesnt matter if he was off the clock; does your job allow you to do drugs as long as youre off the clock? If I was a known participant in any "militant" group(even the black panthers) I would be fired before I could say "F the police". Whats that? What can be done? Im glad you asked. Say something. Its as simple as not remaining silent that stuff gets done. How many people are going to write a letter to that police station, or the state, or anybody? How many news stations are even going to report the story? We gotta stop sitting on the sidelines and be heard. Off the subject, but where is Martin onDVD? Friends' season finale was all over the news, so was Seinfield. Martin was on the air as the most popular black show for like eight seasons, yet dissapeared off the air like a fart in the wind. I cant even get it on DVD. And go see Idlewild if you havent. Im tired of being stuck with the same old crap. Drugs, basketball, and rap. Its more to us than that...my bad Kweli. I been chilling hard all day, and wanna keep going, but I gotta go to a meeting. Or do I? Nobody reads this thing anyway...-j
In the news....
I dont even feel like talking about the news. Well, it was amusing for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (I had to copy and past his name) to challenge President Bush to a live televised debate. I seriously doubt ol' W will take him up on that....
I like the rain, and it was much needed around here. Im finding out more and more what influences creativity with me. So far I have my best friend, rain, Louis Armstrong, classical music, and wine. I just read about a Nebraska state trooper who was fired because of involvement with the KKK, but was reinstated because he was off duty when involved in their activities. Hmm, let me think about this one...I have a federal job, and know of several people(all black, but thats probably coincidental) who have been fired for similar reasons. One was fired for being arrested(unpaid tickets), one was fired for having to extensive of a history(5 yrs ago was his last arrest, and he worked for over a year before being let go), and one was fired because of bad credit. All these people are in positions of public trust, so were let go. Now we have a KKK member cop, but they say he didnt bring his ideals to work? Laughable. Not humorously, but hysterically. This hypocrisy is enough to drive one mad. Police officers are in positions of power, and to have an officer openly partake in a local terrorist group but maintain his position is unbelievable. It doesnt matter if he was off the clock; does your job allow you to do drugs as long as youre off the clock? If I was a known participant in any "militant" group(even the black panthers) I would be fired before I could say "F the police". Whats that? What can be done? Im glad you asked. Say something. Its as simple as not remaining silent that stuff gets done. How many people are going to write a letter to that police station, or the state, or anybody? How many news stations are even going to report the story? We gotta stop sitting on the sidelines and be heard. Off the subject, but where is Martin onDVD? Friends' season finale was all over the news, so was Seinfield. Martin was on the air as the most popular black show for like eight seasons, yet dissapeared off the air like a fart in the wind. I cant even get it on DVD. And go see Idlewild if you havent. Im tired of being stuck with the same old crap. Drugs, basketball, and rap. Its more to us than that...my bad Kweli. I been chilling hard all day, and wanna keep going, but I gotta go to a meeting. Or do I? Nobody reads this thing anyway...-j
In the news....
I dont even feel like talking about the news. Well, it was amusing for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (I had to copy and past his name) to challenge President Bush to a live televised debate. I seriously doubt ol' W will take him up on that....
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